“Don’t create your truth and live your life based on a lie – why don’t you like yourself?”
A legitimate question that knocked the wind out of me around this time last year during a counseling session – and I’m telling you that I was so mad that day, because I knew that after almost thirty years, I’d have to undo the negative thoughts that I lived my life based on because it was affecting ALL of the choices I was making, and they weren’t great. . . I had to change my perspective in order to change my life. Speaking for myself and what I’ve learnt is that, sometimes we are so insecure that we create this negative false idea of who we are and live in that lie so that we can feel good about feeling bad – does that make sense?
It’s tempting to escape and wallow in your negative emotions, because however harmful they are, negative thoughts are strangely soothing at the same time, but the quicker you identify the source of them the quicker you’ll be able to overcome them. . . Unfortunately hurt and darkness is all part of becoming and knowing. Becoming and knowing more about yourself, but too often we get stuck in that dark place way longer than necessary.
“There’s hindsight in the past, clarity in the present & potential in the future”
And that’s what you invest your mental and emotional energy into – something that is going to better your view of yourself and contribute to your personal growth. Have hope, it’s in the little things at first. Constantly keep moving forward by learning to love who you are in this present moment. You have the power to turn all of your experiences and encounters around for good towards who you are becoming and where you are going.
Please don’t delay the progress of your future by keeping yourself captive in negativity – I promise you it leads to nowhere but a deeper hole. Why would you spend another minute not loving yourself or valuing what you have or who you are, flaws an all… Even though you might not count yourself as anything, you count for something, and that is everything. In a world that is constructed to feed off of our insecurities you need to esteem yourself, my love. Think of things that are encouraging, even if you don’t quite believe it yet, if you can think such negative thoughts about yourself and the world around you, justified or not, why not try to change the script until you believe the positive?
What are the negative thoughts that take up space in your mind? Which thoughts are holding you back in life? Is it that degree you haven’t finished yet, is it that failed relationship you keep trying to restore despite the hurt it brings, is it the feeling of inadequacy? Which thoughts are cultivating your negativity, creating chaos and what can you counter them with? Without knowing what you’re going through I’d like to tell you that you are good enough, you are not your past, your mistakes or what has happened to you, but how you think of these things, and the lessons they were meant to teach you determines everything. If you give it an honest try you’ll be well on your way to becoming and having everything good that’s meant for you. Renewing your mind isn’t easy, but you can and will get through and overcome whatever seems unbearable about yourself – the flaws that you keep picking at are going to be your greatest strengths. Embrace them and give yourself time to discover their purpose.
It’s the thoughts that count – not their, his or her thoughts of you but your thoughts… So I challenge you for the next couple of days to think of things that are good about yourself, however small. I challenge you to catch the negative thoughts that you have about yourself and for each negative write down the counter in a place where you can see it and hold on to it for dear life when you try tricking yourself into thinking that you aren’t worthy of this gift called life exactly as you are. Trust me, it’ll make a difference. Progress is the keyword. Self-love is a looong and tough journey, I’m two years in, and trying to undo the mess isn’t easy but you can do it. I needed to feel alive again, and making progress in the way that I saw myself gave me a project, it gave me a purpose that would be fruitful in the end.
Don’t focus on your limitations, envision the possibilities, stay in that space and run with the momentum. Your thoughts count – they determine the direction of your life.